The light to find me

I don’t want the light to find me when I’m on my knees
My broken pieces exposed for all to see
Let me pull myself together first, struggle to my feet,
So I can step into the light with no trace of defeat

But I can’t stand
I try, and I collapse again
I lurch up and crumble down
With no support and no strength left in me
It’s impossible alone
And that’s the problem
Because if I don’t let anyone see me on my knees, how can they ever help me up?